My Life, In Music: Smalltown Poets, Trust (Holy Spirit Double Whammy)

Smalltown PoetsLife seldom if ever, goes as planned.(thank you captain obvious!)
People lose jobs, loved ones are taken with out warning,
close friends stab you in the back, politicians lie, evil seems to prosper, while good people seem to struggle. I could go on, but you really don’t need me to do you? We all know that this world is broken, something is seriously wrong with the  planet, and with all of us.

Recently my family and I have been dealing with the loss of yet another job. That makes my 3rd job loss within a span of  5 years. Include an 18 month stretch  of unemployment in the middle of those 5 years, and the struggle starts to take shape.

As you can imagine, all of these situations have been painful and embarrassing, but this last ordeal stings just a little bit more, because on paper, it seemed like a really good deal. 1) I was working for a friend who was a Christian. 2) It was more money than I had ever made. 3) It had serious growth potential. 3) The job had a great benefits package. 

Don’t get me wrong, as great as things looked on paper there was going to be a huge risk of failure and I was facing a big uphill battle. 1) I had no experience in this particular industry. 2) The typical employee in this industry could be very “rough” in nature, and not open to those from “outside” the field. To make a long story short, in spite of how hard I tried, everything that I feared would go wrong, did. And after working their about a year, I was let go.

Digging deeper, one might be able to make the case that I was treated unfairly, or not given the proper training for success. However, in the end, I feel like those arguments are just sour grapes. The fact is, for whatever reason, I just couldn’t make it work. And once again, I have been left to work through my failure.

You can imagine the questions I’ve been toiling with. There’s the very basic,” why did this happen again?” Followed by the soul searching, “what did I not learn the last time Lord?” And then it’s all wrapped up nicely with the, “seriously God? WTF! (on that one, I’ll leave the interpretation to you)

The good news is that I actually did learn a few things the last time I was without work, so the “licking of the wounds” phase, has transitioned to the “throwing myself at your mercy” phase much faster than before. Now that’s progress!

Once again God is showing myself and my family “Mercy in the Wilderness” and while we are currently enjoying a peace that only He can provide, occasionally fear and panic will assault my serenity. It was during one such attack that the Spirit broke in to comfort my restless heart. It all started when he lead me to that day’s portion of scripture in my ESV One Year Bible:

“My grace is sufficient…”,”When I am weak, then I am made strong” (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

“Cast your burden(s) on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22) 

Obviously this was a Word I needed to hear, but the Holy Spirit wasn’t finished, and as I read and re-read the verses He drew my attention to the chorus playing in the background…

“…Another soul forsaking pride
Quickened by the spirit, he’s so sure that he could hear it
Jesus His savior calling him to come

Take this bread, drink this cup
Know this price has pardoned you
From all that’s hardened you
But it’s going to take some trust

Come every soul by sin oppressed
There’s mercy with the Lord
And He will surely give you rest
By trusting in His word

Take this bread, drink this cup
Know this price has pardoned you
From all that’s hardened you
But it’s going to take some trust.”

The music soared, the scriptures took root, and as the peace that passes all understanding washed over my body, I thought about the double whammy the Spirit had just dropped on me. Happy tears trickled down my cheek, as I grinned, and whispered a little prayer of praise. “Thanks Dad, but now your just showing off”.



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